Linen shirts, pms, ridiculously tight jeans, stretch marks and cinnamon rolls.
My dream outfit for the summer: linen shirt from Boomerang and old denim shorts.
It feel like I have said it a thousand times, but I really can’t wait to fit into my old clothes again. I want to go out for ice cream and wear my thin linnen shirts with jeans shorts and sneakers. Or wear ridiculously tight jeans and sandals. Right now I am sat on the sofa in the only garment that fits comfortably – a men’s night dress from the 40’s that looks more like a circus tent that anything else. And at this very moment my feet and hands look like they belong to Shrek, they are not green, but four times their normal size. Another fun thing right now is that getting up from the sofa just to walk to the kitchen feels like running a maraton, but this is just today. The past days I have been running around, painting stuff in the apartment, sorting boxes with old stuff feeling completely on top of things.
Yesterday I got the most wonderful surprise, a baby shower breakfast! A baby shower is not something I thought I would care for that much but it really meant the world to me having my friends surprising me on a rainy Saturday morning. I literally cried like a baby and was so moved that they had put so much effort into surprising me with the best breakfast I have had in ages. It was so nice to get a few hours of hanging out with them talking a about big and small things in life. One of the things that came up was the female body and how little we all know about it. How the medical care in Sweden is so fucked up for women at the moment. And I think we all agreed that if men would to have periods, give birth or have massive PMS there would definitely be better remedies on the market by now. I imagine we would have baby growing machines, paid PMS days off work that included massage and such things.
While we are on the subject of the female body I would like to talk about pregnancy yet again. Lately I’ve surprised and disappointed myself. It has to do with my reactions to my body changing these past weeks. I don’t consider myself a vain person but I have to be honest and say that to not recognizing my own body has been harder than I thought it would be. I would love to feel totally at ease with this new softer pregnant body of mine. And I am truly grateful that I get to experience this beautiful thing that is carrying a child. But still, there is a small part of me (which I hate) that can’t help but worry over the fact that I will never want to show myself in a bikini again. That the bright red stretch marks will never fade away. And that my boobs might look more like a Dachshund’s ears at the end of all this. I truly wish I was smarter than to have these feelings but it sure feels great to admit that they are there. Having said that I am now going to try to love my amazing body for being able to build a kid. I will continue eating my second cinnamon roll of the day. Buy a tight shape wear swimsuit and google natural remedies for stretch marks. Fingers crossed that the cure is to eat at least three cinnamon rolls a day.
Ridiculously tight jeans from Beyond retro. Old body from dance and gym shop.
I find it funny how just wearing bright colors can make you feel a bit... Lighter? Happier?
New year, new hope
Looking ahead to the new year, with hope and love.
Always darkest before the dawn
We are all waking up to a nightmare. How could this happen?
Emma has a new favorite brand.